Gift for a teen: tips for those who lost track

Sometimes I close my eyes and see it crystal clear again. The time when my grandchild — or my own child, I sometimes can't tell them apart anymore — was still just crawling around. That was a clear-cut time. You bought a rattle with bright colors, wrapped it clumsily, and upon opening you got a crow of joy and a wet kiss. The gratitude was palpable, the gift a bullseye.

I miss those days. Really.

Because now that cute child has turned into a mysterious creature called a "teen". They wear hoodies you can camp in, communicate mainly through unintelligible grunts, and stare at their phone as if the meaning of life is written on it. And their wishlist? To me, as readable as Egyptian hieroglyphs. Buying a gift for a teen is no longer a hobby, it is top-tier sports — and I'm afraid I no longer know the rules of the game.

The digital swamp

My doubts started when I asked my grandson what he wanted. V-Bucks, grandma, he said without looking up from his screen. I honestly thought he was talking about a new coffee shop. But no: after some explanation, and a lot of sighing on his part, it turned out to be digital money. Money that doesn't exist, for inside a computer game. And what does he buy with it? Skins. So clothes for a digital character that shoots other characters on an island.

There you stand in the store, pulling your hair out. I'm from the generation that wants to give something. Something with weight, something you can hold and unwrap. I want to give a book that smells nice, a board game for Sunday afternoon, a warm scarf for the bike. But I know what happens when I show up with that scarf: then I get the look. A deadly mix of pity and discomfort. Oh. Thanks. Nice. And poof, the scarf disappears forever at the back of the closet.

The fashion trap

Then I'll just buy clothes, I thought optimistically. Wrong. Teen fashion is a minefield. In the window hung pants with more holes than my colander. That's fashion, madam, said the saleswoman with a straight face. I refused to pay eighty euros for torn pants, that goes against all my principles.

So I did what any sensible grandparent would do: I bought a neat, decent pair of jeans. Without holes. A fatal mistake. Apparently the "skinny" style was in last year and now it's "baggy" or "flare" (pardon?). The result was painful: money spent on something they will never wear because it's "so cringe". Whatever that may mean, it didn't sound like a compliment.

The poverty of the envelope

Eventually I often cave, battle-weary, and put money in an envelope. Of course they are thrilled with it — I can see it in their eyes, which light up for a moment above the phone screen. They immediately calculate how much V-Bucks or makeup they can buy with it. But to me it feels like failure. An envelope is so... businesslike. So cold. I want to show that I know them, that I know who they are. An envelope with fifty euros actually says: I give up, figure it out yourself.

The digital olive branch

But there is hope, dear fellow grandparents. I have stopped the fight and embraced the enemy — technology.

My children pointed me to ListeDeNoel.be. At first I protested. Does that have to be via the computer too? Can't it just be on a piece of paper? But to be honest: it is a relief. My granddaughter now puts exactly what day cream she wants on it. Apparently she puts something on her face that is more expensive than my bottle of whiskey, but aside from that. She adds a link, I click on it, I see the picture, I see the price, and I know: this is it.

It takes away all the stress. No more hassle with the wrong size, no panic in the store about which game card is the right one. And the best part: I still buy it myself and wrap it myself. That way I still give a physical package, with a bow and all, but with the guarantee that it won't be for sale the next day on second-hand sites. I see the joy of receiving, without the fear of disappointment.

So swallow your pride. We may no longer understand their world — why do they watch videos of *other* people playing a game? — but we can make them happy. Let them make such an online list. It saves you high blood pressure in the shopping street and preserves the peace at the Christmas table. And those torn pants? I secretly iron them shut when they come to stay over. That is my small revenge.

Frequently asked questions

What is a good gift for a teen?

What a teen wants changes quickly. Therefore, ask for a concrete list with links. Gift cards for games, streaming, or clothing are a safe choice if you are in doubt.

Is giving money to a teen a good idea?

Many teens think money or a gift card is just fine. If you want to make it more personal, give it together with a small extra or a joint outing.